TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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