It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
