Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
