The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
