Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
