Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
