I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
