So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
