Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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