she was so not down for the gang bang
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
