THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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