Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
