i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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