at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
