Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
