I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
