end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
