great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
