Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
