Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
It's just like the Real World with babies
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
