Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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