he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
