I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
