Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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