forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
