just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
