I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
