u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
