Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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