You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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