When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
