I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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