I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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