party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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