I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
