Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
