Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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