I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My penis needs a shock collar
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
