So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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