I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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