What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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