fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
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