love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
