I'm really into asian looking animals
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We were destined to go to rehab together
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
