...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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