You can't motorboat a personality
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
