So drunk its hurt
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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