Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
