I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
