have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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