At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
