I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
