Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
