One girl and one boy is just not enough.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
